Cake pops make me wanna kill everyone




Because it was my birthday (almost 3 weeks ago) and even though I made these two months ago, I am still being festive.

I own a ridiculous amount of cupcake and cake tins, especially for someone that rarely bakes. Last time I baked a cake, I ended up smashing it and turning it into cake pops, which is the most deliciously annoying treat to make, ever. It is way easier said than done. And each time I make cake pops, I also say I’ll never make them again. I’ve made them 5 times now. Never again, I swear! Until I have to…

Anyway, since I only have to say how to make cake pops, this shouldn’t be as painful. Enlist a friend to help/feel your pain. I get asked to make these too often. If only everyone knew how much of a motherfucker these bitches are to make.. They’d never ask again!!!

Cake pops!
makes about a million… or 50

A box of cake mix (and the oil/eggs/whatever you need to make the cake)
A container of icing
Lollypop sticks
A bag of candy melts
Whatever decorating sprinkling things you want

Make and bake the cake according to package instructions. Don’t make it in cupcake tins, unless you enjoy making your life even more of a living hell. Obtain a big bowl, and break the cake up in the bowl. Then, dump the entire container of icing in, and mix. Once everything is well integrated, start forming into 1-inch diameter balls. Put deez ballz on a lightly greased plate/tray. Take a little of the chocolate or candy melts and microwave for about 30 seconds. Mix with a lollipop stick and then insert that stick halfway into a ball. Keep taking the sticks, coat the end with a little melted goodness, and insert until they’re all done. Then freeze, for at least 1 hour.
While this is happening, assemble the decorating sprinkly things, and grab a spare bowl to catch what falls off. When the hour is almost up, melt those candy melts/choco. Ideally, microwave the whole damn bag in a tall skinny container for 30 seconds, stir then at 15 second intervals with stirring in between until it’s ready to go.
Dip the cake pop into the liquid sugar sweet microwaved mess and sprinkle with whatever you’ve chosen. Either set it back on the tray, or stick in foam to dry. I prefer the foam. Repeat until you’re done. Don’t rip your hair out. Please.

Some good flavor flav combinations:
*pumpkin cake with chocolate icing, vanilla candy melts (or chocolate chips) and walnuts
*vanilla cake with strawberry icing, chopped strawberries, pink vanilla candy melts and red sprinkles
*red velvet cake with vanilla icing and white vanilla candy melts
*vanilla cake with chopped blackberries, homemade blackberry icing, and vanilla candy melts nuked with blackberry jam
*chocolate cake with chocolate icing, dipped in chocolate chips and more mini chocolate chips on top

Note, If you add fruit to your cake and icing, you need to drain as much liquid from the fruit before adding it in… If it is still too mushy, you can add no salt added plain ass panko to it… It tastes like nothing and soaks up all the juice. Start with a half cup of panko, but you might need more.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. sierralei says:

    those look funnnnn! when i made them, they were such a PAIN.

    1. They are a pain! So cute, but not worth the effort.

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