Baby showers. Remaining childless.

nursing school gals

Let me precede my little blog update with: I have the utmost respect for people, love, families, etc. My rant after the next photo is about people not respecting my beliefs and wants.
Today I attended one of my nursing school BFF’s baby shower. Lauren is an avid skier, traveler, and an amazing RN. I was honored to be invited to share this day with her. I did not get too creative with her gift; I picked out about $100 worth of stuff on her Amazon baby registry and stuck it in a bag. She had added so many cute things to it that I didn’t need to dig deep to find her the best little baby boy clothes. Plus she’s a nurse! She knows best. And she’s going to be an amazing mom… I know it!
Open bar at a baby shower? Genius! And I’m tipsy.

At this point in my life, I don’t want kids. Not now, not in a few years. I’m 29, turning 30 in a few months. I’m not sure if I’ll change my mind about this, but as of right now, I don’t see any kids in my future. So many people question this.

“But you’d be a great mom! You’re so good with babies/kids.”
I know, and I rule at math too! Doesn’t mean I like either. I’m perfectly happy being a mom to my furbaby.
“But only stupid people are breeding. Don’t you want to counteract that?”
No, I know how frustrating it is to live in a world surrounded by idiots. With the way this place is going, I wouldn’t want to bring any child into that mess.
“You’ll change your mind. You should probably have kids sooner rather than later, when you’re fertile. It is so much harder to safely have a baby when you’re older.”
I’ll take my chances, in case I don’t change my mind. Plus I’m 100% open to adoption. There are plenty of babies and kids out there that need forever homes, so if I can’t have my own, I have no problem bringing a child home that deserves a second chance.
“Why don’t you want kids?!” (Like I’m some kinda monster)
None of your fucking business. Just kidding. Not really. It depends on whom is asking. But to be honest, it just doesn’t fit into my lifestyle. I’m a pick-up-and-go type of person; just ask any of my friends, family, or Facebook rando’s. I take 1-2 trips per month. Sometimes I disappear for months on end. My mom told me she didn’t want me to have kids because she knows I’ll just dump the kid at her house, like I do my dog, and run off to another continent for an indefinite amount of time. She’s correct. Traveling is, and has always been, my #1 priority. Following close to that are excelling and moving upwards in my career and education, being financially comfortable, and owning a house/condo and nice(ish) things. I know some people have all that AND kids, but they’re rich. I’m not joking. Think about it. You really can’t have it ALL unless you have a few million dollars to do it with. I’m not forgoing backpacking around Asia because I have a child. Some say, bring ’em with! I say, nahhhh!!!
“Does that mean you’re never getting married? What if you meet someone that wants kids?”
I totally want to get married one day. Party centered around me and my mister? Me in a pretty dress? Everyone I love comes from near and far to celebrate? YES YES YES! My family will just be smaller and a little different than the traditional unit. If he wants kids, he can find someone that wants them too. Or we could maybe possibly perhaps have one if he’s super set on it and he’s too rad to send on his way. Or we can adopt. But either way, we better be super financially secure first! And he sure as hell shouldn’t expect traditional gender roles. I never stay at home and I never plan on doing more than 50% of any job in a relationship.
“Who will take care of you when you’re older?”
You know, as of right now, this is the only reason (and not a very good or justifiable one) I can think of to have a kid. But having a child, regardless of how well or shitty you raise it, does not guarantee that there is going to be someone to take care of you when you’re 80. Who knows? Even if they’re wonderful, maybe they’ll be super busy scientists, trying to cure whatever disease making no money, and they don’t have time? I’d just get stuck in a nursing home. I don’t want to burden anyone with wiping my butt anyway. If your mom needs 24/7 care and you’re not rich, you are going to stick your mom in the nursing home because you’re not going to quit your job to watch her all day. How will you pay your rent/mortgage/groceries? Plus this sounds like the most selfish reason in the world to have a kid. I’m pretty selfish, but not that bad!

And-plus-also there are a million other reasons that aren’t even personal! Whatever! NOT CHILDREN!

Anyway, kudos to all the moms (and dads!!!) out there. I couldn’t (well, don’t want to) do it, and someone has to! I am so happy for your family and I love to hear about them. But please leave me alone? Seriously, shut the fuck up. I have nothing against you and your family, but it isn’t for me! You do you, and I’ll do what’s best for me. THANKS!

the hapa gitana circa 1987, age 2


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